Running From Safety

By: Dr. Kendra Pearsall

I’ve been talking about moving to Asheville, NC for a few months now. Asheville has many of the elements I’m looking for in a place to live: small town feel, friendly community, mild weather, access to the great outdoors, natural beauty, spiritual and environmentally conscious people.  But when it, came time to move out of my current home this Thursday I drove my 14’ ft. U-Haul truck to my hometown of Mt. Pleasant, MI instead of Asheville.
I was too afraid to move to Asheville. After all:

• What if I couldn’t find a place to live?
• What if it took so much time to move, I wouldn’t be able to keep up with the needs of ENLITA.com?
• What if I don’t like living in Asheville?
• What if I don’t make friends?
• What if it’s too expensive?

I’m sure you can see that these fears of running from safety are completely irrational as almost all fears are.

Did you know that 95% of your fears, never come true?

I made many phone calls to friends along the way, asking them what they would do if they were me. Most of them said “Just move to your hometown and you can move again later when you’re ready.”

Except for my friend Dr. Arlan Cage, who is my lifecoach, who loves to give me kick-in-the-butt pep talks whenever I allow fear to take over my decision making. He told me that it was clear Michigan was not where I wanted to be and was moving there just to be in familiar surroundings. I should take this opportunity to run from safety, face my fear and move to a place I could be happy.

“But I can’t just show up with a U-Haul without having a place lined up to live!” I told him.

Arlan said, “Sure you can. People do it every day. When I moved to Florida, from Washington, I put everything in my car, drove cross country, stayed in a hotel for a few nights, found an apartment, and that was it. Easy. Stop making excuses. You don’t have to settle for anything but the best in life.”

When I arrived at my mom’s house she greeted with me with a huge hug and told me how happy she was that I would be nearby.

I took a breath, looked at her with tears in my eyes and gently said, “Mom, I’m so sorry, but I know that moving here is not in my heart. I’m going to swallow my fear and move to Asheville after all.”

She was sad at first but she soon admitted that she knew that this was not where I should be. She said she was jealous that I was leaving because she had wanted to move from Mt. Pleasant for a long time but didn’t because she had a job and everything was comfortable and secure. Perhaps my move would give her the inspiration to do the same. When I made the decision to run from safety, it inspired others close to me to face their fears as well. 

Throughout the day I practiced Emotional Freedom Technique to dispel my irrational fears about moving and replaced the fear and worry with a belief and knowing that it will all work out perfectly.

• I know that I will manifest the perfect place to live.
• I know I will love my roommate.
• I know I will love Asheville.
• I know that I will be able to make lots of friends quickly.

What about you?

Are you living in a place that you love or are you settling for the familiar?

Where would you move to if you could live anywhere in the world?

Are you in a relationship with someone you know you want to spend the rest of your life with or have you known for some time that it was time to move on?

Are you clinging to safety because of irrational fears? Or do you face the fear and do it anyway?

Are you afraid to lose weight? Are you afraid to make lifestyle changes because you don’t want to give up your current lifestyle?

Change is very difficult for most people. But only through change and risk taking will you be able to grow as a person.

Make a list of one change you’d like to make. List all the reasons you can’t do it and then cross them out and replace them with reasons you can.

Join me this week in conquering fears.

I’ll keep you posted on what is happening with my move as I go.

Fear the fear and do it anyway!